Home From War

August, 19, 2008 in War on Terror

By Monica Karlstein

IMAGE / Johnathan Barlow

The war in Iraq has long been and still is a big issue on the political agenda world wide, but is the war ever going to end? Johnathan Barlow, a former Marine who saw the war with his own eyes, and stood face to face with the enemies, doesn’t think so.

August 18, 2003, was the day Barlow, 24, went to boot camp. In November, of the same year, he enlisted in the Marines. June 25, 2004, was when he shipped out for Iraq for nine months and on January 5, 2006, he went to Afghanistan for five months.

These are all dates that will stay in his mind forever.

As a child, Barlow dreamt of being a doctor. As the years passed, his dreams faded but new goals approached. When Barlow lost his scholarship as a runner, due to a knee injury and could not afford to go to Kansas University.

“I didn’t want my parents to pay for it and I didn’t want to take any loans,” said Barlow.

One day, he received a call from a recruiter and he didn’t hesitate. It was one way to get the money he needed so much for school. Today, five years later, this is something he “regrets,” but has “$45,000 to spend on school.”

But at what price?

“My mom was very sad, she tried to find grants and good loans for me to afford school, so I wouldn’t go,” said Barlow.

But he went. At 19, he set off to San Diego, California, for five months of basic military training and six more months of job training in Kaneohe, Hawaii. In the military, he has had three different jobs; assault man, sniper and military police.

In May, he finished his training, and went back home to Independence, Missouri for a two-week leave with his family and old friends.

At home, he could only think, that he didn’t want to die.

In June,  he was ready for the war in Iraq—as ready one ever can be.

According to U.S Military Officials, 10,000-15,000 American troops were deployed when Operation Phantom Fury launched, as the invasion of Al Fallujah was called. Barlow worked as an assault man when the U.S. troops entered the city. ”I used rocket launchers to blow up houses with people in them and would use C-4 to open up locked gates,” said Barlow.

Before invading Al Fallujah, the Marines warned the citizens by walking through the city with speakers and flyers—informing them what was about to happen. The citizens got a time limit for when they had to leave their homes.

When that day came, he and the other marines and soldiers took over the city.

Al Fallujah had a population of approximately 300,000 civilians but U.S. military officials believed that only 70-90 percent of the city's population had fled before the US military attacked. Barlow said, “The locals were all gone, but the terrorists were still there. He and the other marines attacked the city through a surrounding great wall. Thousands of soldiers literally walked side by side through the city and killed the terrorists.”

“They wanted to kill us, that was why they stayed,” said Barlow, “so we killed them all.”

The initial attack on Al Fallujah lasted for three days. They stayed in abandoned houses that were left. “I slept in someone’s bed and ate the food I carried,” said Barlow.

U.S. Military officials said in November 2004, that 38 U.S. troops, six Iraqi soldiers and an estimated 1,200 insurgents had been killed in the attack. In addition to that, approximately 275 U.S. troops were wounded.

Barlow remembered when he and three of his fellow Marines once had to blow a hole in a door and attack the terrorists behind it. Barlow checked the gate before they went in. In front of Barlow, when his buddies kicked opened the door, they got shot at by machine guns. “They were tattered, and torn limbs and blood were everywhere,” said Barlow. Another of his friends also got shot in his leg and Barlow had to put a pressure dressing on his leg to stop the bleeding.

“So after about 10 minutes of shooting, I went across the street and shot a rocket into the house to end it,” said Barlow. When asked how he pushed through despite all the enemy fire, “I couldn’t back out,” Barlow says, “I just had to continue, if I would have stopped—more people would have died. It was my job.”

Later when asked if he ever thinks of the danger of being killed or wounded, he replied fast and his answer is simple; “I’m not afraid.”

He thought that if he would have died, that was, what was meant to be. “If I die, I die,” he said and shrugged his shoulders, as death was something very easy. He said that he can just as well die wherever he is, and whatever he does, such as in a car accident on a street in Honolulu. 

When Barlow’s last days before returning home approached, he had to go to Kuwait. He went through classes and examinations by a chaplain acting as psychologist, to make sure that he was doing OK and was not traumatized from what he had gone through.

Nine months after Barlow returned home, he had to take off again—this time to Afghanistan. “No one wants to go back, but I didn’t have any choice,” he said. “I just had to go.”

Barlow said that Afghanistan was different, less people died and the threat of terrorists were not as big as in Iraq.

Many of Barlow’s friends from Iraq are traumatized from what they saw. For them, it was hard to go back home and live a normal life. One of Barlow’s friends, was discharged from the Marines earlier than expected. “He got messed up from what he saw,” said Barlow. “He still has nightmares—hard to handle—and sees a psychologist regularly. ”When another one of Barlow’s friends drinks alcohol he starts to talk about what he saw in Iraq. “It is like all his feelings, which are normally so hard to talk about, comes out when he drinks,” Barlow says.

It seemed easier for Barlow to talk about his friends’ feelings instead of his own, although he said he has no nightmares and that he is doing well. “I wrote letters to a friend and told her everything,” he said.

He thought the letter-writing was sort of a therapy, a good way to go through all his experience, memories and feelings.

Barlow talked about his experience confidently and as something he has gone through and has left behind. The only time he was a little affected by the subject was when it came to his family.

He grew up with his mom and dad and two younger brothers—Decoda, 9 and Josh, 21.

“I’m glue to my family, but when I left; my family kind of fell apart.” When Barlow still lived at home, he always played football with his younger brothers and made them more active. When he left, the whole family spent every day wondering if he was ever coming back.

When Barlow had his down time on a safe base in Iraq, he called his family as often he could. But the conversations were never about how he was doing or what he did, Barlow didn’t want to tell them. Instead, the phone calls were all about his family and their daily life. “I rather wanted to know if my brother learnt how to bike,” he said.

At the first meeting with Barlow, he said it was better to fight the war away from home, instead of having it here close to friends and family.

President George Bush once said in one his speeches addressed to the nation that: “We are fighting that enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan today so that we do not meet him again on our own streets, in our own cities.” But even though it could be more secure on American home ground, Barlow doesn’t think there is an end to the war. For example, when an Iraqi little boy grows up without his father, who was killed by US troops, that child would probably want revenge, said Barlow. “I would definitely have tried to kill the person who killed my father, if it was me.”

Although the war might turn out to be a vicious circle, and some Iraqis don’t want the US troops to be there, others seem to appreciate their presence. “When local kids played football, we watched them and the parents felt safe,” said Barlow.  He said that he was sometimes welcomed to stay together with Iraqi families, in their houses and eat their food. Some people welcomed them truly, while others just faked it. “One minute we could trust them, the other they betrayed us.”                           

When meeting with Barlow, he had two months left in the military in Hawaii, where he spent most of his working days, patrolling and waiting for the day when he was free to leave. “I’m four years behind, with my life,” he said. “I don’t want to forget, just move on and leave it behind.”

After leaving the Marines, he moved to Orlando, FL, and went to flight school. After some time he found out his hearing was too reduced—from all the shooting in the war zone—to make a career as a pilot. So, he left Florida for Colorado and plans to later on become a psychologist. With his own war experience in his back, he is now eager to—as a psychologist—make his own contribution to help the homecoming troops.